


Don't you have someone you'd die for?

by Ravingkangaroo



Category: Onyx Equinox
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Blood Kink, Bloodletting, Disturbing horrors from the Underworld, Divination, F/F, F/M, Gender changing, God playing with the heart strings of a mortal, Gods transforming into humans to trick humans, Narrative takes place presumably before the events of Onyx Equinox, Self-harm and potential suicide, Side narrative, Summoning a god for help becoming addicting, falling in love with a god
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:21:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27845950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravingkangaroo/pseuds/Ravingkangaroo
Summary: A young, noble woman is expected to marry the son of a successful merchant family - uniting their wealth to bring more success to both families. However, the young woman suspects her soon to be husband has horrible intent. So she risks summoning the god of magic and divination in order to seek answers. Tezcatlipoca will give her the answers she seeks, but also put more questions and confusion in the young woman's head.--The representations of Tezcatlipoca, Quetzalcoatl (and potenitally Yaotl) are directly from Onyx Equinox. The setting is in Tollan which is a fictional place that is talked about, but not real. However, I'm depicting it as if it is real and it held similar ritual practices and social standards as any other large Nahua city.
Relationships: OC/Tezcatlipoca, Quetzalcoatl & OC, Tezcatlipoca & OC
Kudos: 12





	1. The Feast

**Author's Note:**

> I've been a big fan of Ancient Maya art and mythology for a long time which has also led me into researching a lot of Aztec mythology since they had some shared practices, gods and beliefs. Due to this, I may get some details wrong and I apologize. I welcome any sort of critique on this.
> 
> Never, ever EVER did I think I'd get to this point of thirsting over a god. And I honestly don't know where I'm going with this... we'll see where it takes me.
> 
> Cheers to the rest of you who feel me on this lmao.

**The First Day of Toxcatl**

She was expected to attend the big feast with her tetatzin (father) and her mantli (mother). And... her soon to be husband.

She sat in her room, busily brushing her long, shining hair- trying to think of anything else beside the evening that loomed over her. Her dark eyes cast into the obsidian mirror she had hanging before her. The mirror had been polished to shine everyday, and it reflected her beautiful image perfectly.

_What would someone like me do with someone like **him**?_

He had a reputation, that was certain. The son of big merchant family in Tollan. Their wealth was great and their business and knowledge greater. But their portion of riches did not come close to meeting her own. Something about this did not sit well with her.

Did he intend to take her family's wealth after Tetatzin and Mantli have passed away?

Her young face scowled in the mirror as she thought about this.

“I don't even want to get married... not yet.” She whispered as she continued to admire her reflection in the black mirror and brushed every little tangle out of her hair.

–

The ceremonies begun. Song and music filled the streets. And from below, she could see the chosen soul that wore the likeness of Tezcatlipoca, who was partaking in the dancing and celebration. Later tonight... his role will be fulfilled. And a new Tezcatlipoca would be chosen to begin the process all over again until next year's feast.

Any moment, her own chosen fiance would arrive. Her heart felt heavy in her chest.

“You look beautiful tonight.” Her mother assured her.

“Thank you, Mantli.” She sighed.

“Smile, my beautiful one. We must make a good impression.” Her mother beamed her best smile.

She smile back halfheartedly, but it felt so forced, it faltered.

Everyone gathered and seated themselves formally around the foods. Sweet potatoes, avocados, tamales, duck, and chilies were all laid out in a plentiful amount. Even cups of xocolatl had been provided to each person.

He was seated next to her. She could barely bring herself to look at him. But the more she tried to ignore him, the more her tetatzin glared into her. It was becoming too uncomfortable to ignore.

“So... .” She began, turning her attention to him. He quickly glanced to her, eager to engage in conversation. “What are your big plans for when you inherent your family business?”

He smiled, glad that she asked. “Why, I plan to continue the production of our finest jade stone and obsidian. I want to expand our international trade business as well.”

“Oh?” She asked, pretending to sound interested. “And how will you go about that?”

“Well...” He said, giving her a cheeky grin. “Once we are married, the resources will double. And we can hire more pochteca to distribute our goods to the other cities.”

Her gaze became fierce, though she managed to force a smile on her face. “I see.”  
  


“Quite so.” Her father agreed, taking his cup of xocolatl to sip. “And both families will then have greater influence and wealth.”

While the rest of her family cheered in excited anticipation for this marital contract, a fire was beginning to burn inside her chest. She wanted nothing more than to escape and sit alone to ponder her next move.

Her eyes fell back to the man with the painted black lines across his face. He too feasted in the room and was being treated like a god.

_Tezcatlipoca._

An idea began to cook in that fire she had burning inside of her.


	2. Blood for Insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who would of thought that's how a god accepts a blood offering...?

She knew his intentions were bad. But did anyone believe her?

_No..._

But this did not stop her. _She only needed the proof..._ Proof that her soon to be husband intended to rob her family blind of all their wealth in order to better his own business.

She found herself kneeling in front of a dish of copal as she hesitated to light it. She had already lit four others... and they were placed in the other corners of the room. This one would be the last and center piece...

_By the Gods... was this a smart thing for her to do?_

She had no right to be trying such a complicated sacrifice. She was not a priest.... she had no practice. Only her status allowed her to even be able to have access to this room. But for someone like her self to commit such an act was forbidden.

She pursed her lips as her hand finally lowered the burning bundle of sticks to the copal, its smoke quickly rising into the room.

_No turning back... I needed proof. And I know exactly which God to call for that sort of thing._

“Hear my call...” She began as she knelt in the middle of the room. She dropped the bundle of sticks into burning dish of copal, the smoke rising higher. “And please accept my gift...” She raised the thin, obsidian dagger she had tucked under her clothes.

She closed her eyes for a moment as she paused. The room had quickly become filled with smoke and the smell made her light-headed.

“I call... to you... Tezcatlipoca. The Lord of the Smoking Mirror. I ask for your help to reveal one's true intentions. And in return, I offer you my blood.”

With her offer spoken allowed, she raised her head and opened her mouth wide. She took her tongue softly between her forefinger and thumb and lifted the obsidian blade to it. With a quick slice, a cut was made and blood began to drip down from her open mouth and onto the amate sheet she had laid below her.

The pain buzzed but it was bearable. _One cut was not enough... not for a Lord of the night._ So she raised the blade again and made another cut. And another. _And another..._

The blood fell from her bleeding tongue and collected in the amate's fibers. The smoke from the burning copal began to build more with each drop of blood.

Suddenly the smoke had blackened; it's dark color sucked all the light from the room.

And as she opened her eyes to gaze up into the clouded smoke, there a man stood.

_No... not a man._ His black stripes across his face immediately told her who he was, and her body went cold.

_What exactly had she been expecting?_ She wasn't sure... but she could not help feel overwhelmed in the God's presence. This was definitely not the mortal man she had seen the night before dressed in make-up and fancy attire. _This was the real thing._ And just as the stories had said: He was gorgeous. No mortal could ever compete with such beauty. No man could be more handsome, nor could no woman be more beautiful than him.

Tezcatlipoca smiled down at her and sighed. More of the black smoke bellowed out of his nostrils and filled the space around her. _Had he accepted her gift?_ She was afraid to ask.

“Not yet.” He spoke with a deep voice and a golden glint in his unworldly eyes.

She inhaled sharply when the God had answered her own thoughts without moving lips. His words just somehow entered her own mind.

Before she could speak in turn... before she could even begin to recede her bleeding tongue back into her mouth.... Tezcatlipoca bent down toward her. He took her face in his large hands and licked the blood from her own tongue.

She feared to move... afraid any motion would offend him. So she sat perfectly still while the God licked her clean of the blood she had just offered to him. Her arms went numb with the sensation, for this was.... _beyond_ anything she had expected. But she would be lying to herself if she didn't find this as... a thrilling experience.

When he had finished, he leaned himself back and smiled again down at her. He looked... _quite satisfied._

“Thank you for that delicious sacrifice.” He said. Without hesitation, he lifted the round black mirror that hung around his neck so that he may gaze into it. “Now... what is the one's name you wish to learn more about?”

His words snapped her out of her daze, as she finally closed her gawking mouth. “His name... is Ichtaca.” She answered the god.

Tezcatlipoca raised a brow at this and gazed deeply into his black mirror. As he stared deeply into it, the black smoke continued to puff from his nose with every deep breath he took. His mirror began to release smoke as well.... she could only guess that it was revealing images to him now.

_He must be seeking him out... surely, a God of Divination will be able to find the proof I need._

“I see...” Tezcatlipoca smiled. “Ichtaca... you will be marrying him soon.”

She lowered her head and her gaze met the floor. “That's right...”

“Yes... I can see inside his heart. His intentions are clear to me.”

Her heart began to race as she gazed longingly back to Tezcatlipoca. “I... I had no doubt! Then you are able to see he plans to steal my family's riches for himself?”

Tezcatlipoca smiled again, as if he expected such an accusation. “His true intentions... are to use the wealth your family will provide him to increase his business production... and providing more wealth for both of your families.”

Her smile faltered. “...What?” She was surprised by this. She had felt that her hunch was so certain. But he truly meant what he told her at the feast? “I... I don't understand.”

Tezcatlipoca sighed deeply as the black smoke bellowed around them both. “It would seem you misjudged him. That isn't a very considerate thing for his future wife to do, now is it?”

She felt the God's harsh comment in her bones, as she shuddered. But still, she could not shake this feeling she had about the whole affair.

“But then... why do I feel this way? Why do I feel that something is wrong?”

And Tezcatlipoca only stared down at her for a moment. She took this as her question could not be answered because she did not offer anything for it like she had the first request. So she lifted her obsidian knife, ready to offer more blood to the god so that she would have the answer.

“That won't be necessary.” He said, holding an open palm out to her. “I can see this is troubling you greatly. And I can see inside your heart too...”

She hesitated before lowering her weapon again, waiting for the god to speak more.

“You could have been greatly punished for coming here without one of your priests... but, you were determined to protect your family and seek answers. And you provided a worthy sacrifice in order to do so.” He grinned down at her, revealing his stark white teeth and his eyes giving a knowing glint. His teeth did not appear to be human teeth, no.... something was slightly off about his smile. “So I shall tell you why you feel that something is wrong... it is simply this: You are disgusted by him.”

She blinked at this answer. It rang in her ears and then crept into her heart. Tezcatlipoca was right. She hated him. She hated everything about him. But she was not sure why.

“You must figure that out for yourself. I know you will...” He said, closing his golden eyes. He took in a deep breath and exhaled a large cloud of smoke. It filled the entire room, causing her eyes to water and close tightly as she involuntarily began to cough. Just as the black smoke cleared... Tezcatlipoca had vanished.

She sat there, thinking hard on this new knowledge that was bestowed upon her. The burning on her tongue had completely stopped but her mouth would not stop trembling.


	3. Intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gods love to play with humans.

_It was beauty that he lacked..._ she was certain of it now.

The moment she saw Ichtaca visit and try to impress her with a gift of green jade jewelry... and looked deeply into his face, it became clear. Sure, he had a fine smile and strong gaze. But it was the little tells he had that were obvious to her now that she was looking for them.

His hair was pinned up felt half-hearted as if he put little effort in the act. His skin was drying in places around his eyes where he did not bother to oil as frequently. Even the earrings that hung from his lobes lacked a proper shine, as if he did not keep up with the maintenance to make them look truly splendor.

When his gaze was cast away from her, she found herself scowling at him more and more. This man did not appreciate beauty to its finest, otherwise he would put more care into his day to day appearance.

_So this is what Tezcatlipoca meant that she was disgusted by him._

It seemed to make more sense since she spent every morning gazing and grooming herself in her mirror in her room. _But... did that make her shallow?_ Would she be a bad wife if such a simple thing made her resist liking her husband?

In the evening, she spent longer in her room pondering on this and trying to wash the guilt off of her. Surely it was not such a bad thing to value beauty above all things? It just meant that it is what made her happy in life.

She reached out her hand to the large polished mirror and ran her fingers over its slick surface. The deep, rich color of the obsidian had begun to captivate her. It was dark and beautiful... much like the smoke that had surrounded her in the temple.... when she had summoned Tezcatlipoca.

_Perhaps... he could give me more answers._ She thought of the gorgeous face that had smiled down on her. _Perhaps he might know what I would need to do to get rid of this feeling. If I just... gave him more of my blood._ Her lips involuntarily parted as she thought of his tongue on hers.

_Yes... I will go to the temple again once everyone has fallen asleep._ The excitement and confidence had begun to fill her as she eagerly waited for the moon to rise higher in the night sky.

–

“Tezcatlipoca... I need your help again.” She spoke, lighting a new copal in the burner next to her. “I have learned the answer to my original question.... but I'm still at a lost as what to do now.” She raised the obsidian dagger up to her face, its sharp edge glittering in the firelight. “I ask you to help me again... in return for more of my blood. I give to you willingly...”

She quickly sliced more deep cuts into her tongue, much more confidently than the last time. Her strokes suggested an eagerness that surprised even herself. And just like before, the blood dripped down onto the amate, soaking it in.

She waited with her mouth a gape as the smoke continued to rise in the small space. But... it did not turn the brilliant color of black as before. She waited and waited, her bleeding tongue now hanging limp from her mouth as her eyes looked all around for a sign.

_Did I do something wrong?_

“Quite wrong, indeed.” She heard the celestial voice behind her and the black smoke now pooled at her back.

She turned to see him standing there... but looking a little different. His hair was flowing and long, longer than her own. Each wave of black locks shined and glistened as if made of water. He wore a face that looked even younger than the first, more closer to her own age. But still he wore the black bands across his face and his eyes still sparkled a brilliant gold that matched the heat of the fire. And of course, the dark smoke still flowed from his nose with every exhale.

He was frowning down on her this time.

“So you have figured out why you are disgusted with Ichtaca.” He stated it as fact rather than question.

“Yes. He does not appreciate beauty. Not like I do.” She said, smiling sheepishly up at him. She was feeling nervous by his unfriendly gaze. “You understand this, right? Beauty is very important.”

“Indeed.” He said, raising his brows. _Of course he understands. His form spoke this alone._

“But what do I do now? I know the reason I will not like my husband... but that does not make me feel any better....I need help to figure out what to do.”

“And that is what is wrong.” He stated. “You have summoned me for this, but this does not fall into my expertise. I've told you what is in his heart as well as yours. I cannot give you advice on your affairs.”

“So then...” She gulped, feeling the sting settle on her wounded tongue. “I am destined to be unhappy.”

“Not exactly.” He said, the black smoke swirling around his face. “The heart is a fickle thing. It's desires can change on sheer will... or from being exposed to something new.” His golden eyes narrowed on her, as if he were reading.

She breathed deeply, worried now that she had offended Tezcatlipoca this time. “I'm very sorry to have wasted your time, my lord.” She bowed her head deeply until her forehead almost touched the floor. “I just... I could not think of who else to turn to since you had helped me so greatly the last time.”

The sound of the smoke blowing out of his nostrils could be heard as he silently pondered a moment. “I see... You were and still are eager to have summoned me again.”

She bolted her head back up at this, her face feeling hot. She wanted so quickly to talk her way out of this, to make an excuse- But how could she? He was Tezcatlipoca. He could see everything in a human's heart. _There was no point._

“Do you know why?” He asked her, his face smiling once again- the same strange smile as before.

“No... I do not.” She said, her eyes looking back down to her dagger. “But... may I ask you to look and tell me what my true intention was?”

He grinned a toothy grin. For a moment his face even seemed to shift unnaturally to show a fierce power in his jawline. “Now that I can do for another delicious sacrifice.”

He finally approached and bent down before her again. But the blood had already stopped dripping from her mouth at this point. So she awkwardly reached for the plate that the amate was on and presented it for him. Her heart rate jumped when she say the keen look he cast on her in return.

“Not the amate... the blood.” He commanded her, his eyes flashing wildly.

She looked back at the plate to see that some of the blood had pooled along the edge of the sheet- not entirely absorbed in in the fibers of the amate. She took one free hand and wiped the pooled blood with the tips of her fingers, now coating them lightly. She looked back to Tezcatlipoca who's smile was definitely growing larger.

“Bring it here.” He told her.

Slowly, she brought her fingers out to him. For a moment, she expected him to take her hand with his own and retrieve the blood with his fingers. That seemed like... the appropriate thing to do for anyone. _But he was not anyone._ And he hadn't been very expecting so far.

Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened as he leaned forward and carefully took her fingers in his mouth. Tenderly, his tongue worked to lick and suck the blood well off her skin. The sensation left pin-pricking bumps all up her arms and back. She couldn't take her eyes off him as his tongue craftily caressed her fingers. _Was he... trying to arose her?_ If she didn't know better, she would have thought for sure he was actually Tlazolteotl.

Once he had finished taking his sweet time and sucking on her, he released his grip on her hand and licked his lips. “Your face speaks for your heart quite well.” He commented. “Must I say anymore? Or has it become clear to you?”

“Wh...” Her tongue was tied and she felt breathless. “Why...” She wanted to ask why he was doing this- why he was toying with her. But she knew the answer already, even though his human form kept tricking her eyes.

“I am a god. I can do anything.” He said simply, blowing more smoke all around them both. “And your blood is quite rich... So perhaps I will keep encouraging you to provide more.”

She didn't realize it until now that she was smiling back at him. “My intention was... to see you again... wasn't it, my lord?”

“That's right.” He said. “It would seem I have made quite the impression on you. Can I expect you back for more insight?”

“Yes, I do believe so,” She said. But she would have to think of something else to ask of him.


End file.
